Life After Loss (part I)

(An Open Letter to My Husband)

I hope you understand why you are important to me.  I do not like to bug you if I do not have to.  We have lost so much last year.  We cannot LOSS each other!

I want you to see Dr. Howard and get on some pills RIGHT AWAY.  At least, the pills will take the pain away.  You can still work on the diet but it takes too long.  There is no reason you should be in pain. Fatty liver is not a big deal but if you do not do something about it. It will be serious.

Do not tell me you are given up. Last time you complained about your health and said, “What is the point of living?” My stomach churned and heart sank. I did not expect that from you. You are always my sunny boy, looking to the bright side of things.

I know you miss our baby. His departure was so unexpected. I am so sorry. I cannot do more for you. I have done everything I could…. Please do not give up on yourself. Do not give up on me. Do not give up on us.

Working non-stop is not a solution to ease the pain. Work will always be there. I know you are taking on more responsibilities; people count on you and even the department count on you. But, if not you, another Joo or Peter will replace you. You are just one of their puppets, but a good one. If you are ill and no longer valuable, they won’t hesitate to do what is best for the business. Only your parents and I will rush to your bedside and give unconditionally.

I love you. I cannot LOSS you too!

Jeasmine

P.S. To show my love, if you do not take actions, I will stop my hypertension meds and let my blood pressure go to 200. You know I can.

Writing 101, day four: Series Killer – write about loss in series 

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About jasmine shei

My blog is to express my journey in finding a purpose in life, after a great loss. As I wonder in the woods, I hope I will eventually find a path to a lifelong fulfillment.
This entry was posted in Recovery, Relationships, Writing 101 and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Life After Loss (part I)

  1. I find your piece very powerful, honest and raw…beautiful writing 🙂

    Like

  2. Karuna says:

    I hope your threat to stop your blood pressure meds was creative writing and not real. Your life is important no matter what your husband decides to do or not do. You can help him most by taking care of yourself.

    Like

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