Father’s Day Special

Today is father’s day. I have been tossing and turning all night thinking about it. What shall I do for Joo? What does he like to do? After all, he is Kevin’s father.

I remember on my special day. I imagined us sitting at the dinner table, hands holding, in silence. Under the candlelight, we trace thoughts for our lost son. With teary eyes, we fall into each other’s sorrow. Maybe we could have that today?

At the lunch table, the TV was on. Joo turned around pointing at the commercial and asked, “Is today father’s day?”

“Yes.” I was ready to pitch the father’s day special and continued. “You are a father…”

“Do not start.” Joo cut me off and walked to the kitchen.

I, with my mouth open, froze.

Not another word.


About jasmine shei

My blog is to express my journey in finding a purpose in life, after a great loss. As I wonder in the woods, I hope I will eventually find a path to a lifelong fulfillment.
This entry was posted in Recovery, Relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Father’s Day Special

  1. Some people were very careful with me on Mother’s Day because my mother had died. I chose not to focus on that, but instead to think about the idea that it was MY day with my children. I didn’t want to focus on the aspect of the day that would make me the saddest. Maybe Joo is doing that, too. Protecting himself. Not wanting to be pulled into despair. Do you think?


    • jasmineshei says:

      Thank you for sharing your perspective. After I spoke to him later, he did mention that he did not want to be reminded what had happened. I had better understanding now. But, it was a jaw dropping experience for me. How we both grief so differently. Thanks again!


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