My Perfect Storm

Date: Thursday, 12pm, 6/26/2014

From: Jesmine (the wife) 

To: Joo (the husband)


I want to be subtle but I do not think it works for you. Let me just come out and say it.

I cannot believe you are not saying anything to me today, 6/26!

I know you do not like to deal with sad emotions or any celebrations. But, today you should.  I cannot ask everyone to remember. But you, I expect, at least for us, for what we have been going through!

You just have to compromise.  I compromised to have a dog because of you. You feel too quiet for just two of us and a little buddy would cheer you up; I compromised to have your parents over for three months, even though I have not find a job to hide; I compromised not to display my sad emotions and pretend to be a strong happy idiot.

I am not seeing you showing respect.  Here is what I want you to do:

1.  Read the pages of the memory book I put together.

2.  Say something to me today.

3.  Do that, once a year, on 6/26

I just need this from you.  I have controlled my emotions for a long time and did not want to show, for your comfort.  I need something in return, for my comfort!



Date: Thursday, 2:50pm, 6/26/2014

From: Joo (the husband)

To: Jasmine (the wife)

I thought the date is 6/29.


Date: Thursday, 2:55pm, 6/26/2014

From: Jasmine (the wife)

To: Joo (the husband)

Mark your dam calendar.

6/26 baby son was born.

6/27 baby son passed away.

6/29 back home from hospital

7/1 hospitalized again

7/4 back home from hospital

Do I need say more?


Date: Thursday, 2:58pm, 6/26/2014

From: Joo (the husband)

To: Jasmine (the wife)

Dam calendar?

I do not do hydropower.


For the rest of the afternoon, I hid in the library, did not want to deal with the emotions in the empty home with empty arms.

When I got home,

Two bouquets of roses on the counter table

A card says,

“Your baby loves you”

Just speechless

Writing 101, Day 19:  Don’t Stop the Rockin’


About jasmine shei

My blog is to express my journey in finding a purpose in life, after a great loss. As I wonder in the woods, I hope I will eventually find a path to a lifelong fulfillment.
This entry was posted in birthday/anniversary, Recovery, Relationships, Writing 101 and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to My Perfect Storm

  1. Beautiful. You made me cry.


  2. myhopejar says:

    It’s true hon. Your baby does love you and so does your husband. One thing I have learned over the years since we lost our son, is that the important dates are also on his mind, but if he had his way, he would just pretend they didn’t exist. I remember that first year. I brought up going away with my husband a few weeks before our son’s birthday and he really didn’t want to do anything. It was only because I forced the issue, that we went away that first year, but it turned out to be the best decision for both of us, and we now make a plan every year to get away do something special on our son’s birthday. Its always a hard day, but also one full of love and memory. The anniversary of his death is a little different and we usually don’t do much on that day. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you having them only one day apart. Big hug to you hon, Sending you a big, big hug hon. Happy birthday to your angel ❤


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