I suppose I shall not exam the past. It would only bring sadness and regrets. Whatever I hoped to have, it vanished and I could not have it back. The living beings do not speak of the dead.
I suppose I shall not to look into the future. It is too depressing since I do not have what it takes: Children are to be the future of the mankind. If I do not one, I do not stand the chance, don’t I?
I suppose I shall always stay in the moment. It is real and under one’s control. But, I am not told with what I shall fill this moment. Is the long walk, the cooking, the cleaning, or the reading? I have seen my parents conduct their daily lives, the walk, the cooking, the cleaning, and the reading. But, they are in their 70. I shall jump decades ahead and all of the sudden be like them, enjoying life now? How? I cannot do it in my good conscious without the guilt and disappointment.
How does a person restart in life, over and over again, without loosing faith and energy? I want to know. It seems that it is my life, always restarting and never get anywhere.