Dancing Bosom

There is no place on this planet like summer days at farmers’ market: As the sun kisses tanned faces, we take a bite into earth’s wholesomeness — It is heavenly!

A voice calling me behind, “Jasmine!” I turn around and am dazzled by her appearance: She, in her colorful summer dress, with shoulders bare and cleavage shown. With summer almost over, I could not see a streak of tan on her. Under the sun, she is a little white porcelain, beaming.  She approaches with a smile, “Hello, Jasmine. Have not seeing for a while. How are you?”

“Hey, Hing. I am good. What a nice day today!” I try to keep my eyes open as I talk.

“Yes. I like it! Are you here alone?”

“Oh, I am with my in-laws.”

“How long are they staying? Do you have to cook all day?”

“They will be here until Oct. No. They cook most of the time.”

“That is a relief.”

“Are these your kids?”

I look down at one of the girls licking her ice cream. She pulls her child back with one arm and says, “Oh, yeah. We are here for a while and about to leave. Good to see you. Bye.”

Like a mommy hen, she hurries her little chicks, swinging her body and walking the other way. What just happened? I stand there, lost. I do not know what hurts more, the dancing bosom, three healthy kids, or the sudden departure?

All I know is that I just fell off the cloud.


About jasmine shei

My blog is to express my journey in finding a purpose in life, after a great loss. As I wonder in the woods, I hope I will eventually find a path to a lifelong fulfillment.
This entry was posted in Recovery, Relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Dancing Bosom

  1. meghanoc says:

    “All I know is that I just fell off the cloud”
    Oh, yes, what an apt set of words. watching the simple everyday acts of parents, either knowing or unknowing of my situation, can sometimes strike me so painfully. I am going to borrow your phrase “I just fell off the cloud” and reflect and write on it. I can imagine myself there with you at the farmers market, falling off the cloud. xx


    • jasmineshei says:

      The triggers in life is so unpredictable that I was caught off guard. I know I cannot avoid this. I can only build stronger inner strength to “look the other way” next time. It will take some time. Thank you for connecting to my post and the pin back!


  2. Wow. I feel as though I have been punched in the gut reading that. I can only imagine its effect on you and for that effect and all that has come before to help create it… I am so, so sorry. Hope you reassemble the pieces of self and find the ground beneath your feet reassuring again soon. Such a long dark journey we are on, my friend.


    • jasmineshei says:

      Thank you for feel what I feel. I thought I was crazy or too sensitive for even notice the subtle things like this. In the end, why I should care is beyond me. I need to look the other way, next time. 🙂


  3. Pingback: “I fell off the cloud…” | Expecting the Unexpected

  4. Healing Grief says:

    I think its okay and very normal to feel those things. In the beginning you are very sensitive, you see and feel everything. You do care and you want what they have for yourself, so allow it to come up and then let it go. Practice your gratefulness, find something everyday that you can be thankful for.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Gosh, I could feel the deflation there. “Fell off the cloud” sums it up pretty well. Hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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