To Cry or Not to Cry?

What makes you feel if your doctor or nurses were to cry with you when you were experiencing a tragic loss?

This question came up few times, at the support group and a panel discussion with the medical professionals. Everyone had a different opinion and it was hard to get a consensus. However, for me, I feel much closer to the doctors or nurses who were crying with me. The tears instantly melted everyone together. The medical professionals were no longer there because of their job and they needed to perform. Instead, they transformed to be one’s best friends.

I remember the day my bereavement coordinator, Aggie, walked into our lives, when the unthinkable happened. She quietly came to my bedside, held my hand, and said, “I am so sorry.”   Tears came streaming down from her cheeks without reservations. I leaned over, sobbing, on her shoulder. At that moment, two souls connected and one broken body had a support she did not know she had and very much needed.

I can never thank her enough, for the pictures she took, the engravings she made for my baby Kevin, and the advice she gave for holding my child. Without her, my memory of my precious would have been an imagination.   Now, I have something to solidify my love of my child and a legacy to cherish.


About jasmine shei

My blog is to express my journey in finding a purpose in life, after a great loss. As I wonder in the woods, I hope I will eventually find a path to a lifelong fulfillment.
This entry was posted in Infant Loss, Support Group and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to To Cry or Not to Cry?

  1. Aggie M. says:

    Wow, this is beautiful, thank you. It helps me to hear this.


  2. Of course this post and your tribute to Kevin and Aggie has melted me into a puddle of tears. But I want to type through the tears that I share your experience – real, lived, in-the-moment human compassion is critical. I think unless we have been there it may be hard to know how we might feel about a weeping medical professional. I feel seen and heard and believed. I am so saddened by your loss but so grateful Aggie helped you in the many ways she did to preserve the memories and mementos you now cherish.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Healing Grief says:

    Beautiful story and a special connection the staff had with you and Kevin, it allows you to have special memories of support and love during a very difficult time.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Julie says:

    I feel the same. The only medical staff I really appreciated was the nurse who cried when I gave birth. At the end of her shift she said that she learned a lot from us, that we were a really touching and that we would cet through it together. I think about her every day since. I will go meet her soon to thank her.


  5. mrsmashiter says:

    You can tell when a professional genuinely cares. Whilst in hospital I felt a strong connection to the midwife who looked after me on nights post c section, and to the NICU nurse who cared for my daughter on the day shift. When the midwife held my hand, she really held it. I felt cared for in my time of need – words cannot express how thankful I am for that. The NICU nurse was brilliant, and was present in My daughters last moments. She cried along with us – she felt our pain and sadness. It’s a memory I’ll always have.

    I’m glad that you too experienced such a connection in your time of need.
    Amanda x


  6. kelseyecho says:

    I am eternally grateful for our medical team. They each came in to say goodbye to our Ruby and cried with us. They each hold a special place for our family. Showing that kind of compassion and support makes them seem more human, like the nature of their job has not turned their hearts cold. We even experienced this with the funeral home. No matter how you spin it a child passing on breaks the cycle of life.


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