Puzzled Life

I like finishing a puzzle.  I usually start with the corners and building the wall on each side. Then, I focus on the obvious portion of the puzzle in the center, like the head of a horse, wings of a butterfly.  Slowly I work outward.  Gradually, fewer pieces are left behind.  It gets easier as I go:  I start to notice the subtle differences, like color variations or pattern changes.  Even a hunch becomes more accurate.  It gives me a great satisfaction when the puzzle is finished, as if I have just accomplished something important in life.

I wish life is like finishing a puzzle that has predefined path and as long as you work hard you will get there eventually.  But, life is not a puzzle.  There is no predefined path, only mysteries; no guarantee of succeeding even if you put your life on the line, only risks.

Maybe that is the beauty of it, not knowing it all;

Maybe that is the beast of it, not guaranteeing anything;

But, I hate not knowing; I hate loose control; I hate not being rewarded for five years planting a family tree with all seeds died inside of me.  Why life has to be that cruel?  Why cannot life be a puzzle?

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About jasmine shei

My blog is to express my journey in finding a purpose in life, after a great loss. As I wonder in the woods, I hope I will eventually find a path to a lifelong fulfillment.
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4 Responses to Puzzled Life

  1. Such a poignant analogy. My heart aches for you when you ask these questions. I wish there were better answers and life were more like a puzzle when it comes to building families. Much love and warm hugs to you, J.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aggie M. says:

    I like the analogy. I like puzzles too, especially on vacation. I still think in some ways life does resemble a puzzle? Maybe the pieces that seem ‘lost’ now, you will find later, or much later? I don’t know. I love the way you share that it (‘Life’) certainly does not make sense (now), like a puzzle always does, in the end…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Elizabeth says:

    I teach grade one, so in my classroom we have a lot of puzzles. It is always fun to do them, but the worst is when you’re finished and there is that one missing piece. It ruins everything, all the hard work, all the anticipation… Puzzles are great, but not when there is a missing piece. My wish is for your missing piece…

    Liked by 1 person

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