A Pair of Walking Shoes

“Honey, are you ready?” He called again from the car.

No response.

He slammed the door open and walked into the house.

In the entrance, he found her sat on the floor, staring at a pair of old walking shoes, with tears running down her cheeks.

“What happened?” asked he.

“Shoes… Blood… Baby…” She could not put the words into a sentence.  Memories of her lost baby captivated her.

It was summer of 2013. She was happily pregnant for six months after a long journey of IVF. On night of 26th of June, she started to have frequent urine and in the evening after she wipped herself, she saw a drop of blood in the toilet. They rushed to the hospital and were sent to the birth center. The nurse checked her vital signs and said, “the baby’s heart beat was weak.  We are sending the doctor.”

Had another urge of going to the bathroom, she put her walking shoes on, and slowly moved to the bathroom. After she got up, more blood came out. This time they were thick with clumps. They were on her shoes.

“I am scared, very scared” she said to him.

The next morning, her baby died. She suffered Preeclampsia and almost left this world without knowing what happened to her….

“I am so sorry,” he wrapped his arms around her. They both sat on the floor and stared at a pair of old walking shoes, crying.


About jasmine shei

My blog is to express my journey in finding a purpose in life, after a great loss. As I wonder in the woods, I hope I will eventually find a path to a lifelong fulfillment.
This entry was posted in Infant Loss and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to A Pair of Walking Shoes

  1. Hugz ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Every time I read one of your glimpses into your loss I find tears swelling in my eyes, you are so courageous for sharing and for surviving. Love to you my friend.


  3. Caroline says:

    I am sorry Hun! It’s crazy what can trigger it some days. Hugs!


  4. Oh, Jasmine. I cannot hold back my tears reading this memory. I will never stop being struck by the depth of your loss and the courage you find in sharing your vulnerability. I so wish I could bring Kevin back for you.


  5. Aggie M. says:

    Oh my, oh my….


  6. So very sad! Diane


  7. Julie says:

    I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss.


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