Category Archives: Recovery

It Is Your Decision

When my little cousin, Xuan, was born, I was excited. He was a beautiful child with big eyes, long eyelashes, and silky skin. I used to gaze at him in his baby carrier for a long time and thought he … Continue reading

Posted in Infant Loss, Recovery, Relationships | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Fair and Square?

A little girl sings:                                               “Dresses and laces, the pettier the better; Pearls and diamonds, the shiner the better; Candies and chocolates, the sweeter the better; Homes and houses, the bigger the better; The world is fair and square, for … Continue reading

Posted in Recovery | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Journey In Numbers

He, Born, 6/26/2013, Deceased, 6/27/2013. On that God forsaken day, I cut open my chest, Took out the broken heart, Locked the pieces away… 633 days, 20,000 words, 70 posts, Later I opened the locker, Held out the pieces, Sat … Continue reading

Posted in Recovery | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Beauty Before the Storm

For 15 minutes nothing made sense. It was so quiet! Deadly quiet! It was surreal. As I looked out the window, what’s real was this sight in front of me — The sunset showered everything with a golden glow: Cherry … Continue reading

Posted in Recovery | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Straight Talk

Inspired by Leigh and her recent post, giving my 18 year old self a good talk to, I sat with myself, face to face, and had a straight talk with each other. Here is the transcript. Q: What was like … Continue reading

Posted in Recovery, Self-help | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Change

To me, 2013 was a Shit Hits The Fan year, traumatizing and devastating. 2014 was a year of internal struggle. Do not get me wrong.  I did not get on drugs or anything.  But, I have to admit in my … Continue reading

Posted in Recovery | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

Embraced

As I was walking to the elevator, a woman I have never met before embraced me and whispered to my ears, “Thank you for your speech, Jasmine. I lost three children… I have three beautiful children now. You will find … Continue reading

Posted in Recovery | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Waiting For the Right Moment

“Oh, my baby is dead.” Too scary? “By the way, I had a child.” What does that mean? “Listen, I had a bad experience given birth.” Too vague? “Well, how shall I tell you ladies this…” Too?? I hyperventilated. My … Continue reading

Posted in Recovery | Tagged , | 4 Comments

An Elephant In the Room

After 10 days with people I know a little, some barely, for the holiday, I suddenly feel the urge of being left alone. For some moments, they created a distraction and I did not have to think about my own … Continue reading

Posted in holiday grief, Recovery | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Fail to Launch: A letter to My Child

My child Kevin, I thought this year would be less difficult than the year before, the year your unexpected departure.  I thought I would have figured out what to do with my life.  But, in truth, I failed to launch, … Continue reading

Posted in holiday grief, Recovery | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments