I am a creep

The stage lights dimmed. Everyone got quiet. He closed his eyes as the music started.  A sadness unfolded when he sang:

 “When you were here before

Could not look you in the eye

You just look like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like feather

In a beautiful world

You so very special

 I wish I was special

But, I am a creep

I am a weirdo

What the hell I am doing

I do not belong here”

Then, he opened up and blasted his voice to the audience.

“He is running, now

He is running

Run, run run.”

What a powerful voice and beautiful remake of the song!  I was captivated by the intensity and vulnerability.  Then, I looked at myself.  An old wound opened up and I saw myself, the day when I lost my child, three years ago.

“When you were here in my arms

Could not look you in the eye

You were an angel

Soft skin made me cry

You weigh like feather

On a blistering summer day

You so very special

I wish I deserve you

But, I am a creep

Can not keep any of my babies

I am a weirdo

Wearing ugly scares and butt naked

 What the hell I am doing

I do not belong here

I do not belong


 I am running

Running, running, running

To go back

Back to the beginning  

When I can still have you

Safe inside of me”


Here is the link to this song from Brian Justin Crum

Brian Justin Crum, sang his version of Radiohead’s Creep


About jasmine shei

My blog is to express my journey in finding a purpose in life, after a great loss. As I wonder in the woods, I hope I will eventually find a path to a lifelong fulfillment.
This entry was posted in Infant Loss, Recovery and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to I am a creep

  1. Beautiful song! Brian’s version gives me the goose bumps. (*⌒▽⌒*)θ~♪


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