Going to the Bereavement Supporting Group sponsored by the local hospital has been a safe heaven for me, especially having a special someone, the bereavement coordinator, Alley, there. She has seen me from the very first day; the day death snatched my baby.
She shed tears with me; She went home thinking about me, a childless mom; She brought lavenders to my bedside at the hospital on her day off to say hello when I was in an unrecognizable shape lost 50% of my blood and hallucinated that my baby would miraculously wake up from his deep sleep….
In this special group, I have gotten to know few brave women, who have lost their infants in various stages of pregnancies. Does not matter how long it has been, a month ago or over 9 years ago, it always felt like it happened yesterday and we want our precious back more than anything. Some have later on had subsequent pregnancies and have wonderful children. Others like me are in a limbo. I do not want to plan any more. I did not plan for my baby’s funeral but I lost him anyway. What is the point?
Every tear I drop, every story I share, and every ugly truth I reveal, they are mine. They are theirs, too. Together we share the burden of grieving so we do not have to face it or be buried by it, alone.